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Posts by Donna Harrington

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Reduce Shame, Enhance Love: Reflections on Self-Love and the Journey to Find It

Posted October 12th, 2015 by & filed under Student & Alumni Stories, Consciousness & Mindfulness.

It was during my second week at Southwestern College, the second meeting of Tuesday’s Psychology of Altruism class, that Ann Filemyr presented us with this lesson: “reduce shame, enhance love.” We talked about feelings of shame and the aching, overwhelming presence it can have in our daily lives. Shame that can continually haunt us whether…
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Several Levels of Generosity

Posted September 18th, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

I value generosity on several levels: On the physical or material level, generosity could take the form of giving money, food, shelter, etc. On the emotional or heart level, generosity is about giving others my attention, love and compassion. At the level of intellect, am I willing to share my ideas and perspectives? And…
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When I Lose My Discernment

Posted September 11th, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

Several times in the past, I've gotten excited about the latest spiritual practice I'm doing, and I've lost my sense of discernment about it. I start thinking "It's the best thing ever—everyone should be doing it!" I become a true believer, thinking it's the right thing for everyone; the world would just be a better…
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What is Empathic Presence?

Posted August 28th, 2015 by & filed under Consciousness & Mindfulness, SWC Blog.

When I started learning to empathize with others, at first, I found myself awkwardly guessing their feelings and needs (often, incorrectly). Gradually, I built my feelings and needs vocabulary, and eventually, I was able to guess feelings and needs more easily and more accurately. However, my empathic reflections still felt somewhat awkward and contrived. I'd…
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When My World Fell Apart

Posted August 14th, 2015 by & filed under Consciousness & Mindfulness, SWC Blog.

(This piece is based on a journal entry of mine from January, 2009.) The last couple weeks have been very challenging for me. I've been feeling anxious, off-center, low on energy, and afraid. Lots of things have changed in my life all at once. Watching Everything Fall Apart The nonprofit that I've been leading for…
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Letting Go of Control

Posted August 7th, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

When we stop trying to control ourselves and others, what happens? Perhaps that depends on the extent to which we're resting in love. When we're resting in love, the distinction between ourselves and others evaporates. We start getting attentive to all needs that arise—both for ourselves and others. When we stop trying to control, we…
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How I Prepare for Sleep

Posted July 24th, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

For me, the first step in having a great day is having a great sleep—and the first step in having a great sleep is preparing for sleep. I know I'm going to be asleep for about eight hours—and I know that the last hour or so before I go to sleep is a crucial time…
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Noticing What’s About to Be Born

Posted July 17th, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

I'm really liking a practice I've been doing: noticing what's about to be born. This works both alone and in conversation. Alone, this practice goes with reminding myself that I don't know what I'm going to do next. Not knowing makes me curious about it. What actually am I going to do next? I start…
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How to Resolve Conflict by Naming Expectations

Posted July 10th, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

I find that naming expectations helps me avoid and resolve conflict. An unnamed expectation is an unconscious, unspoken, implicit "should" or "should not" hanging between myself and someone else. I'm not saying expectations are a problem—shared expectations are the essence of culture, and culture is what allows us to relate with one another easily and…
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How to Make Difficult Experiences More Meaningful

Posted July 3rd, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

I'm finding I can make difficult experiences more meaningful by using them to cultivate compassion. For instance, let's say I'm feeling lonely—needing more love and companionship in my life. Feeling lonely can be uncomfortable, and loneliness can seem bleak and meaningless. However, I can make my experience of loneliness more meaningful by using it toward…
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How to Stop Doing Things You Regret When You’re Angry

Posted June 26th, 2015 by & filed under Consciousness & Mindfulness, SWC Blog.

When I'm angry (that is, "triggered"), I'm often tempted to gain relief from my triggered state by protecting myself in some way—usually, by setting a boundary. The problem with this is that setting a boundary tends to be a unilateral decision that's unlikely to meet the other person's needs for care, consideration, connection, and inclusion—especially…
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10 Tips to Thrive in Grad School at SWC

Posted June 8th, 2015 by & filed under SWC Blog.

I make war with what comes in contact with a person's health or happiness, believing that God made everything good..." ~Phineas Parkhurst Quimby Grad school is a unique, generally rigorous, and ideally outstanding life experience which will push you to your intellectual, emotional, and physical limits. At the end of year one…
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